Have you ever found yourself caught in a whirlwind of feelings, uncertain which way to turn or what decision to make next?
Maybe you’ve set goals but struggled to follow through. Or perhaps you’re successful in some areas but feel stuck in others.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
The secret to overcoming these struggles often lies in emotional intelligence—the ability to understand and manage your emotions—and a surprisingly simple truth: deciding what I want.
In this blog, we’ll explore how emotional intelligence and clarity about what you want form the foundation of fulfillment and accomplishment.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ) is the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and influence emotions—both yours and others’.
It includes five key components:
Self-awareness – Knowing your emotions and how they influence behavior
Self-regulation – Managing emotional responses calmly
Motivation – Channeling emotions to pursue goals persistently
Empathy – Understanding and connecting with others’ emotions
Social skills – Communicating and managing relationships effectively
➡️ Self-awareness is the foundation—and where your journey to deciding what you want begins.
Why Deciding What I Want Matters
Most people haven’t clearly decided what they truly want—not on a deep, authentic level.
When you do decide:
- You gain clarity and direction
- You focus energy on what matters
- You reduce confusion and overwhelm
- You boost motivation
- You create a roadmap to follow
Without this clarity, your efforts are scattered, and goals feel empty or out of reach.
How Emotional Intelligence Supports “Deciding What I Want”
1. Self-Awareness Reveals Your True Desires
Ask yourself:
What brings me joy and fulfillment?
What goals align with my values and purpose?
Are my desires truly mine—or shaped by others?
2. Emotional Regulation Helps You Overcome Fear and Doubt
You’ll learn to:
Face fear of failure or rejection
Stay calm in uncertainty
Make decisions with clarity
3. Motivation Fuels Persistent Action
Authentic goals ignite internal drive, making you more resilient to obstacles and distractions.
4. Empathy and Social Skills Bring Support
You’ll gain the ability to:
Communicate your goals
Inspire others
Build a support network aligned with your vision
Emotional Intelligence + Clarity = Accomplishment
When these two forces work together:
Your goals become authentic
You adapt with resilience
You influence and connect with others
You avoid burnout by acting from purpose
Practical Steps to Cultivate Emotional Intelligence and Decide What You Want
✅ Step 1: Develop Self-Awareness
Practice mindfulness
Keep a feelings journal
Reflect on your true values
✅ Step 2: Practice Emotional Regulation
Pause before reacting
Use empowering self-talk
Choose healthy coping tools (exercise, meditation, creativity)
✅ Step 3: Clarify Your Values and Priorities
Identify your top values
Align your goals accordingly
Let go of inauthentic goals
✅ Step 4: Define Clear, Authentic Goals
Use the SMART framework:
Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound
✅ Step 5: Cultivate Motivation and Persistence
Visualize success
Celebrate small wins
Surround yourself with supportive people
✅ Step 6: Strengthen Empathy and Social Skills
Practice active listening
Ask for feedback
Share your goals openly
Real-Life Examples of Emotional Intelligence in Action
A corporate exec discovers a passion for coaching and pivots careers
An athlete learns to regulate stress for peak performance
A leader aligns their team’s goals with personal values to boost motivation
Common Barriers to Deciding What You Want (and How to Overcome Them)
⚠️ Barrier 1: Fear of Making the Wrong Choice
EQ helps you approach uncertainty with curiosity—not avoidance.
⚠️ Barrier 2: External Pressures
Self-awareness lets you separate your true desires from societal expectations.
⚠️ Barrier 3: Overwhelm and Indecision
Break goals down into small steps, and regulate emotions to stay grounded.
The Transformative Power of Deciding What I Want
When you combine emotional intelligence with intentional desire:
You unlock clarity
You take bold action
You attract aligned opportunities
You experience lasting fulfillment
How to Get Started Today
Here’s a simple reflection exercise:
Sit quietly and ask: “What do I really want in this area of life?”
Observe your emotions without judgment
Write down your insights
Reflect on whether your current actions align
Need support?
🎯 Schedule a free coaching call: www.calendly.com/marcfeinberg
Final Thoughts
Emotional intelligence and deciding what you want are the power duo of personal success.
They help you identify authentic goals, overcome fears, and take action with purpose.
Success isn’t about approval from others—it’s about aligning your inner world with your outer life.
🧠 Develop emotional intelligence
🎯 Decide what you want
🌱 Watch your life transform
